My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
