THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
