So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
