I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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