I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
