Apparently you make a good broom.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
