Hey man sorry I got all grabby
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
