i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
