Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
