I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I wear drunk well.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
