spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
