im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
