dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
