haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
