If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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