I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
