Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
