so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Boobs speak an international language.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
