Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
