I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
