sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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