we have officially lost it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish you could order shots online.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
