Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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