I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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