I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
