you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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