Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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