I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
