we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
