she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
