Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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