Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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