But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
