im gay
i know
yea but for you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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