He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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