I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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