"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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