i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
