we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
