first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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