Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Two words: blizzard sex
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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