Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
