is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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