You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
