im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
