Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She is in my trunk
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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