how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
