just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is the high leading the old right now
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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