i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
