I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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