Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
