He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Will exercising make me less horny?
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