just come out here and I will go home with you...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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